Non Temetis Messor
by Lulu-fifi
Summary: Death is mildly bothered, in his sub-realm a boy didn't die when he should have, but due to inter-dimensional lag, the boy is now 16. So Death sends his Granddaughter to investigate. How will she cope with correcting this error in an unfamiliar world?
1. Chapter 1

Well then guys! This is my second fan fic, my first attempt at a crossover, and indeed my first attempt at a Harry Potter or Discworld fic. Lots of firsts today. I would like to thank my amazing (first) BETA SmileysRoxSox for being incredibly patient when it came to waiting for chapters to be written and typed up (I do have a stock that I'll be releasing at regualar intervals until I run out...but hopefully by then I'll have more written :D) and of course I would like to thank you guys for thinking this was worth a look :) Enjoy...

**Disclaimer:** Yeah...I own nothing - trust me, if I owned either of these then I would NOT be worrying about how to pay for uni.

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SUSAN

"Yes Grandfather?"

ON ROUNDWORLD IS A RATHER...INTRUGUING BOY. HIS LIFETIMER HAS STOPPED YET HIS BIOGRAPHY IS STILL BEING WRITTEN.

"Yes Grandfather. I know."

YOU DO?

"Yes Grandfather, his lifetimer's on the desk with no sand running through it, but his biography – on the shelf – still rustles like it is being written."

WELL. YOU WILL G0 TO ROUNDWORLD AND SEE WHAT THIS BOY IS DOING, AND HOW THIS ERROR CAN HAVE OCCURED.

"Yes Grandfather"

OH, AND SUSAN.

"Yes Grandfather?"

TAKE BINKY, MY COLLAPSIBLE SCYTHE IS IN THE SADDLEBAGS. QUOTH WILL BRING THE LIFETIMERS DAILY.

"Yes Grandfather"

"Draco, darling. Please be careful."

"Mother. I'm not a child. I know what I'm doing."

"Talk to Severus if you need help."

"Yes, Mother. Goodbye. I need to go find a compartment"

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Thanks for reading! If you aren't very familiar with either of the fandoms or have any questions/suggestions feel free to leave them in a review (which you will leave anyway because you're all nice people.) and I'll try find the magic button that lets me reply to reviews. :) xx


	2. Chapter 2

Welcome back! Thanks for reading :) Well, chapter 2 is (obviously) up, and our two protagonist meet! :) enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **The plot is mine...and that's it. Except for my squishy. I own that too :)

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The Hogwarts Express had seen its fair share of oddness, but this was the first time it had seen a pure white horse grazing on the student's luggage. The guard stood next to it looking bemused.

"How the...?" he wondered

"Look on the logical side, the horse _can't _be there. So therefore, it isn't." A voice said from behind him. This explanation seemed to please the guard, who secured a trunk as the horse that wasn't there nibbled his hair in a friendly way.

"Oi! I think you'll find that you're in the wrong compartment. What are you anyway? Some sort of circus freak." Pansy Parkinson demanded of the girl sat in the corner.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you wanted to sit in here. Go ahead. I'm not going to stop you." The girl said staring unblinkingly into Pansy's mud-coloured eyes.

"No. You are going to leave."

The other girl sighed as if she were dealing with a disobedient toddler.

"I don't think I am, and to answer your question: no, I'm not a freak, not from any circus anyone would care to visit."

Pansy took a second look at the occupant of the compartment – tall and thin, her eyes were silver, but what stood out most was her hair. Mostly white it had a single black streak down the centre. At the moment it was pulled into a bun, though it gave the impression of being tamed rather than brushed.

"Trouble, Pansy?" A dark haired boy appeared at Pansy's shoulder.

"Oh, Blaise. This girl won't let me sit in the compartment." Pansy sighed dramatically, leaning heavily on Blaise.

"Excuse me? This girl, has a name if you'd bothered to ask me, and I believe I said you could join me."

"Whatever, let's sit down Pansy." Blaise dropped into a seat, after hesitating briefly Pansy joined him, glaring at the outsider.

"Ah Blaise, Pansy. May we join...who's this?" Another person, another boy had appeared in the doorway, two mountains of flesh behind him.

"Just 'bout to ask Draco" Blaise answered "So...who are you?"

The girl met the eyes if all the coaches occupants briefly.

"Susan Sto-Helit." She offered. "Sixth year, just found out I have magical potential I went to Quirm, I mean Geneva College for young ladies."

"What a coincidence. My cousin goes there, you may know her. Sophia Malfoy?" Draco said.

"Can't say I know the name. However, you all have the advantage of me..."

"Draco Malfoy. This is Crabbe, Goyle, Blaise and Pansy. All in Slytherin." One by one everyone was introduced.

"Really? How thrilling."

"How come you've only just found out you're a witch?" Pansy asked suspiciously

"I'm from a wizarding family, if that's what you mean." Susan replied "My Father wanted me to go to Beauxbatons…I disagreed and purposely failed every exam I took, so he repressed my magic. He was killed in a car accident and the spell wore off, so here I am"

This statement raised a few eyebrows, especially Pansy's

"Why didn't you want to go to Beauxbatons?" She demanded

"I dislike the French cuisine and didn't see why I should have to speak a completely different language all day every day."

Pansy slumped back in her seat, apparently satisfied with Susan's response.

"So which house do you think you'll be in? " Blaise asked leaning forward

"Slytherin." Susan replied immediately

"Best house there is Slytherin." Draco uttered proudly, "All my family's been in it."

Susan's mouth twitched slightly at Draco's obvious family pride.

"Here. Anyone own a horse?" A tall, raven-haired boy asked. "Malfoy...who is this?" he asked coldly as he clocked the inhabitants of the compartment.

"Potter, she can speak for herself, but of course you wouldn't know how to talk to a woman – only mudbloods and Weasels" Draco responded

"Asking to be hexed Malfoy?"

"I'm Susan. Why do you want to know about the horse?" Susan interrupted.

"Neville's toad hopped past it and we can't get through. Harry Potter, by the way."

"How interesting. Here, feed him a couple of these. Not too many mind." Susan tossed over a bag; black and embellished with a skull and crossbones motif it was full of sugar lumps.

"Will do. Thanks, I think..." Staring at the bag, Harry left.

"So, you and him get on like a house on fire do you?" Susan asked Draco airily "Right down to the innocent people running and screaming?"

"Yeah, right down to that." Draco scowled.

A tendril of hair tucked itself behind Susan's ear as she delved into her bag for a book, a thick leather bound tome with a gold embossed title which she carefully hid from the other occupants of the compartment. She curled her legs under her body and settled down to read. Pansy and Blaise seemed deep in conversation while Draco watched Crabbe and Goyle playing Exploding Snap.

"Well, we should, err, go get changed now Susan. I'll show you where we can get into our robes." Pansy broke the silence and gathered together her uniform. Snagging her bag, Susan followed her down the corridor to the girl's restroom, taking stock of the girls leaving in the drab uniform – grey skirt, grey tights and a grey jumper. Susan entered a cubicle, put her bag on the floor and clicked her fingers. The handle of her bag stopped mid-fall, the air was filled with an eerie silence. She left her cubicle and stood in front of the communal full length mirror. Praying that her party trick would work outside Mon Repos she closed her eyes and let an image of the school uniform come to the forefront of her mind. Almost tentatively she opened her eyes.

"Oh I think we can do better than that. A little shorter in the skirt I think, and maybe a better fitting blouse." She blinked and the adjustments to her uniform were complete. She re-entered her cubicle and allowed time to carry on where it had left off as she covered up her birthmark with make-up.

"Susan!" Pansy called "You ready?"

Susan joined Pansy in the walk back to the compartment.

"Sorry I was a bitch before, I guess I just didn't think you might actually be a nice person." Pansy apologised as she opened the door .

"My God, Parkinson apologised! Mark it on the 'amazing things Pansy has done' calendar, Blaise" Draco laughed as Pansy stuck her tongue out at him.

"Yeah, sure thing Draco, seriously Susan, treasure the moment, you will never see it happen again." Blaise commented.

A magically amplified voice rang throughout the train,

"Can the Duchess of Sto-Helit please report to the guard's carriage!"

Susan grabbed her bag and went to the door, turning to say goodbye.

"DUCHESS?" Pansy exclaimed, bringing Crabbe and Goyle back to reality with the shrill note in her voice. "Why the hell didn't you say that before?"

"It doesn't make me a different person. Why should I? See you at the feast." So saying. Susan turned and left.

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OMG Susan's a Duchess! Who knew? :L Hope you liked. I can't beg you enough to review. I like reviews. They give me something to wrok with. :) So...PLEASE REVIEW! xx


	3. Chapter 3

I'm back! Slightly later than intended due to a "OMG where's my memory stick disappeared to?" panic...but I found it so all is good now :) Much thanks to my (amazing) Beta **Smileyroxsox** and indeed to **Wierdchik** for reviewing the last chapter :) Hope you enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything...apart from some rather spiffing new boots - but they don't feature in this story so, yeah, I own nothing.

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Susan went to the guard who took her, by way of portkey, to Dumbledore's office

"Ah. Just in time, I was about to have you sorted with the first years but now you are here I shall save you the embarrassment." Dumbledore smiled warmly at Susan, handing her the battered old pointy hat.

"What the HELL are you?" The hat asked in Susan's ear. "The owner of the pale horse? Why are you in Hogwarts?"

"No!" Susan thought furiously "I'm his grand-daughter! Just because we share the same expansive memory..."

"Apologies" the hat said – not sounding sorry in the slightest. "You'll be busy this year. I think the best place for you would be SLYTHERIN!"

Once Susan was given her house robes and ties, she was escorted to the Great Hall by her Headmaster who directed her to the Slytherin table just as the rest of the students spilled through the doors.

"Hey Susan." Pansy dropped into the seat next to her "You were right about your house I see."

The laughter and chatter died away as Professor Dumbledore stood.

"The very best of evenings to you!" he said smiling broadly , his arms spread open wide as though to embrace the whole room. His right hand was blackened and dead. Whispers swept the room; Dumbledore, interpreting them correctly merely smiled and shook his purple and gold sleeve over his injury.

"Nothing to worry about." He said airily. "Now...to our new students, welcome; to our old students, welcome back! Another year full of magic awaits you..."

"What happened to his hand?" Pansy whispered

"It's dead" Susan murmured. "Just dead." Nobody questioned how she knew this.

"How?"

"That's a curse injury if ever I saw one. Bel-Shamharoth, I haven't seen a curse like that for a long time."

"We are pleased to welcome a new member of staff this year. Professor Slughorn." Slughorn stood up, his bald head gleaming in the candle-light, his big, waist-coated belly casting the table into shadow. "Is a former colleague of mine who has agreed to resume his old post of potions master."

"Potions?"

"_Potions?"_

The word echoed all over the hall as people wondered whether they had heard right.

"What about Professor Snape?" Pansy asked Blaise, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Professor Snape, meanwhile" said Dumbledore, raising his voice so that it carried over all the muttering. "will be taking over the position of Defence against the Dark Arts teacher."

"NO!" Susan frowned. That impossible boy, Harry Potter, had spoken. Everyone was looking at him. "That's Snape happy then." Blaise muttered "He's been after that job for years."

"Which one's Snape?" Susan asked, glancing at Draco who was sat to her left.

"Tall one with the long, black hair."

"I see him – looks like an overgrown bat in need of a bath?"

"Watch what you say about him – he's your head of house. He's not bad when you get to know him."

Dumbledore cleared his throat; the whole hall had erupted into a buzz of conversation at the news that Professor Snape had finally achieved his heart's desire. Seemingly oblivious to the sensational nature of the news he had just imparted, Dumbledore said nothing more about staff appointments, but waited a few seconds to ensure that the silence was absolute before continuing.

"Now as everybody in this hall knows, Lord Voldemort and his followers are once more at large and gaining in strength." Susan's ears pricked. This Lord Voldemort was a bugger. It seemed that he couldn't be killed, though this was impossible. All the same, he had multiple hourglasses in the Hall of Lifetimers, something wasn't right. To her left Draco was making his fork hover in midair with his wand. As the remainder of Dumbledore's speech washed over Susan like the light from her homeland she wondered how Binky was, remembering the day she'd first met him and laughing softly. She'd changed since then. A teacher in her own right, she'd been quite pleased that she'd still managed to pull off the 16-year-old look. She wondered how her replacement at The Frout Academy of Learning Through Fun was coping with Jason.

"Susan...you in there? Time to go." Draco was waving a hand in front of her. "I'll show you how to get to the common room."

Susan followed the blond as he walked through the crowd, elbowing people out of his way. As soon as they got to a deserted corridor he spoke.

"So. A Duchess? If you don't mind me asking. Where the hell is Sto-Helit?"

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Well someone had to ask. So. How will Susan get out of this one? dun dun duh! Well...there's a little button...it has the word "review" on it. If you press that, and leave a comment of truthfullness...you'll get to find out slightly sooner perhaps...depends how I feel, though it is nearly Christmas :D

xx


	4. Chapter 4

Whoop! chapter 4 is up! Consider this my christmas present to you. :L Thank you **Wierdchik **and indeed** Sakura Lisel **for reviewing since I last updated. Well now, after the cliffie of the last chapter let the show commence!

**Disclaimer: **not mine...honest...

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"Erm..." Susan hesitated for once in her life "That would depend on how accepting you are of the other worlds theory..."

"Let's just say I believe it to be true."

"Sto Helit is on the Discworld. Not far from Ankh-Morpork, but far enough away to escape the stink of the Ankh." Susan explained "I'm actually not 16"

"Well that much is evident – your eyes are too old."

"That's inherited...but it doesn't matter. What does matter is that there is something wrong. Really wrong. People are passing through the walls between dimensions. No human should be able to do that."

"So. You shouldn't be here?" Draco frowned, trying to comprehend what Susan was telling him

"I don't know...possibly that rule doesn't apply to me."

"You're not human?"

"I am...mostly. Genetics isn't an exact science on the Disc..."

"Mostly? What do you mean mostly human?" Draco started to lose his nerve

Susan sighed "This might not work but if it doesn't...you won't know about it." She muttered to herself "Here goes"

Susan grabbed Draco's arm and raising her free hand, clicked her fingers. Time stopped.

As he was pulled through the corridors Draco started at the sight around him. The clocks weren't ticking and everyone had stopped in their tracks.

"Merlin's beard!" he exclaimed as Susan stopped. They were in front of Hagrid's hut. "You are not going to tell me THAT barbarian somehow gave you magical powers?"

"What? No. Think of human mythology. Does the pale horse ring any bells?" Susan said. Fumbling in the saddlebags. "Damn it , Grandad. Albert must have cleared these out. It's not in there."

"Not getting anything Susan..." Draco commented.

Sighing once more Susan turned to face him. The shadows in the moonlight shifting until her face appeared almost skull-like, both palms facing upwards she closed her eyes and concentrated for a moment, with a crash of thunder a scythe appeared. An eldritch wind blew her hood up and she looked for all the world like –

"The Grim Reaper?" Draco breathed.

"Is my Grandfather." Susan nodded, sending the scythe back to whence it came. "Hence my ability to stop time, walk through walls and speak in a voice of eldritch command."

"Walk through walls?" Draco's eyebrows raised elegantly

Susan sighed "Yes, walk through walls, I'm…more solid than the rest of the universe, don't ask me exactly how it all works."

Talking frantically the two sixth years walked to the Slytherin common room before slipping back into the time stream. Draco took a seat in an armchair by the fire which had mysteriously been left empty by the large amount of students who were sat on the floor, on other chairs and indeed on each other.

"Aaah, the Slytherin Prince saw it fitting to grace us with his presence after courteously ignoring us over dinner." A tall, broad, blond haired boy proclaimed, "Could this charming young lady possibly be the reason you ignored your fellow 'Royals'?"

A confused look crossed Susan's face as she attempted to decipher this speech.

"Not particularly. I was conversing with Blaise and Pansy. Oh, and Marco. This is Susan, Duchess of Sto Helit."

"A Duchess?" The taller boy's interest piqued "Maybe she should join the Royal Circle?"

Again Susan felt the conversation pass over her head – a feeling she was somewhat unaccustomed to. This time, however, Draco took pity on her confused expression and explained that the male heirs of the two highest pure blood families, along with their respective partners were (somewhat sarcastically) referred to as the Slytherin "Royalty"

"In which case I cannot join your elite group." Susan replied "Lobsang would be eternally upset."

A frown crossed Draco's face, but it was Marco who spoke the question on his mind,

"Lobsang?"

"My wonderful boyfriend" Susan indulged in a bit of unashamed girly-ness

"Not a betrothal?" The others by the fire place seemed almost shocked

"Oh no. My parents died before they could make such arrangements and my Grandfather…would not have really known how to handle the subject with me. Why? Are betrothals still commonplace in your families?"

"In most yes…but Draco's mother refused to limit her son to pointless affairs and told Lucius quite firmly that while he would have the ultimate control over the wedding Draco would be the one who chose the bride." Marco's girlfriend – or now it seemed more likely fiancée – explained. It was the first time she had spoken and Susan glanced at her, regarding her as pretty and obedient, the kind who had no opinion save that of her husbands. Perfect in fact as the wife if an aristocrat, if such a class system existed in the wizarding world.

"Oh, well I really should be getting to bed, I'm rather tired after the journey. See you in the morning." Susan turned and headed for her dormitory, or failed to.

"Erm, where's my dorm?" she asked, fighting the blush that threatened her cheeks

"Through the door on the right, fifth door down."

"Thank you"

As she lay on her bed Susan pondered. Had telling Draco been the sensible thing to do? Oh well. "What happens stays happened," she told herself. "Most of the time," herself answered back.

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Well there we are. Draco knows all. I thought it cruel for Susan to have NO-ONE to confide in. At least on the Disc she could go to Biers and get some vague sense of comeraderie with the bogeymen and the toothfairies etc...but we don't have anything like that in the Harry Potter world...which is this world...trust me, I've looked. :L Thanks for reading. Leave a review if you think I deserve it :)

xx


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to the guys who reviewed the last chapter! *Hands out cookies to reviewers* Ok - if you havn't read many of the discworld books you might be completely confuzzled by some of this chapter, feel free to PM me if you need anything explaining :) Anyhow, hope you all had a great Christmas and here's chapter 5!

**Disclaimer: **Yep. You guessed it. I own...rien, nothing, nil...etc.

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The next day, at breakfast, Pansy, Blaise and Draco watched Susan silently as she scribbled some calculations in an unknown numerical system onto some parchment, reading from a hefty tome every few minutes. Satisfied, she finally wrote down three names and started to eat, just as she finished her bowl of muesli, the came, a huge mass of owls flew through the window, dropping letters and parcels here, there and everywhere. As the last few thuds rang throughout the great hall a black speck could be seen through the window. As it got closer it became evident that it was a Raven, weighed down by an obviously heavy parcel.  
"Quoth!" Susan greeted him "I couldn't have a day to settle in could I?"  
The raven dropped his parcels on onto Susan's lap and sat on her shoulder.  
"I bet he wouldn't have got a little bobbing robin to drag all that" it muttered, breathing heavily  
"I suppose he didn't think at all guilty for dumping this lot on me on my first day?"  
"Nope. People don't stop dying because Miss Susan wants the day off."  
Everyone's eyes were on Susan and Quoth as they had their strange conversation. Susan unwrapped the parcel and picked up the two letters. Turning over to look at their seals she smiled and slipped them into her bag.  
"Oh, and your Grandad says to give this address to your boyfriend, he keeps getting harassed."  
"Yes Quoth…go to the Owlry. I'll give you a reply tonight."  
The raven hopped onto the side of the fruit bowl.  
"I say…are they-"  
"-No." Susan cut across him "They are not eyeballs, they are grapes."  
Sulking, Quoth flew off to the Owlry.

Draco, Pansy, Blaise and Susan made their way down to Snape's office in the dungeons in order to get their timetables.  
"So Susan, what subjects are you taking?" Pansy asked conversationally.  
"Potions, Charms, Transfiguration, Ancient Runes and Defence Against the Dark Arts," came the swift reply "I might do History of Magic too…" Susan pondered  
Pansy looked at Susan incredulously.  
"History of magic? Why on earth do you want to do that?"  
"It interests me, history, battles, deaths. I have a good memory for dates," Susan explained, entering Snape's office as Draco left.  
"Ah, Duchess," The tall, dark-haired professor greeted her.  
"Oh please, those who know me, and insist on formality, call me Miss Susan; far less intimidating I think," Susan insisted  
"Very well, Miss Susan. I have to admit to a certain amount of trepidation in allowing you to start in a NEWT class without the appropriate background."  
"I'm a quick learner, I'll ask all the subject teachers for extra work where I need it."  
"Well," Snape seemed surprised "You show enthusiasm." He tapped his wand on a blank timetable. "I wish you luck."  
With a dazzling smile Susan left the office and sent Pansy in before slumping against the wall.  
"What's up?" Draco asked, sounding concerned.  
"I've just said I'll catch up years one to five whilst doing the sixth year curriculum." She replied.  
"Why would you do that?" Draco shook his head. "Never mind – I'll help you."  
"You will?" Susan asked "Thank you, now I've got Ancient Runes…"  
"I'll show you.."

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That's one hell of a lot shorter than I thought it was... :/ Oh well...suppose I'll have to update quicker this time. Thanks for reading, feel free to leave a review. I live for them. :D

xx


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